The Wildflowers of My Heart

Confession: I love perfection. 

 White plates stacked in the cupboard. 

 85 degree weather. 

 An organized closet. 

 Vacuum lines in the rug.

 An elegantly set dinner table. 

 Medium rare steak. 

 My children gut laughing. 

I also love planned randomness.

 My children's artwork carefully lined up on the fridge. 

My eclectic collection of girly mugs. 

 Open air markets. 

Sand.

 Potluck desserts.

Beautiful bouquets. 

An unexpected gift from friends. 

However, I have often struggled with the unpredictable- the things I'm unsure how to handle, the things that make me question if I should laugh in nervousness or cry in fear.

Kids on sugar highs.

Icy roads. 

"We need to talk"

Weeds and wildflowers.

Buying birthday presents.

Chiropractor adjustments.

Commissions.

The first few summers after our relocation from Oregon to Washington, I made regular sweeps through my garden and pulled out all green plants that appeared unplanned.  Our yard was filled with beautiful flowers, shrubs, and trees, screaming for attention but I had no idea what to do.  We didn't grow delicate flowers in Central Oregon as the weather was unpredictable and cold.  But I could identify established plants, thus pulled anything that had the audacity to grow without permission.

I carefully studied the landscaping and care of plants in neighboring yards then bravely trimmed, planned, and pruned my way through my own,  realizing that some of the small green plants I had pulled were the beautiful wildflowers I had admired around town. Poppies!  At first I wasn't too bothered. I value predictability and wildflowers seemed to grow on a whim. I like organization and yet found them hiding in unusual places. I enjoy well-planned colors and wildflowers seemed to choose their own.

After a few summers, I began to allow the landscaping to become a little bushier, the vines to grow a little longer, and a few wildflowers to color outside my planned lines.  Natures' relaxing and unpredictable creativity continues to delight me.  Or perhaps I'm just relaxing a bit.  Or growing up.  

There have been seasons of my life where I've feared wildflower beauty so I've only tended, pruned, and stewarded the safe relationships; friendships of routine, equality, and ease. Friendships that made me invest my heart, disrupted my schedule, or pried too deeply went untended.  These were too unsafe.  Too wild.

Yet God continued blowing these undeserved friendships into my life.  I wasn't sure what to do or how to best manage them and then I realized they simply needed space to grow, watered with love and grace, and  appreciated for the vibrant color they brought my life.  It didn't matter how orderly I wanted my life or how unworthy I felt, God has continued to give.

These are the breathtaking wildflower friendships of my heart...

You may also enjoy:
*Blog (great gardening tips w/a spiritual spin!) The Redeemed Gardener
*Article from Family Life - Pulling Weeds from the Garden of Life