Pruning Our Hearts

originally written 2/14/08 - edited 2/26/13

Distraught, Cliff called me to the front yard to behold the grotesque damage and distortion that our sprinklers  inflicted on our small tree. Each almond-shaped red leaf cradled a couple drops of water causing the delicate branches to bend and twist beneath the weight.

Just days before I was admiring our beautiful ornamental tree, even if it needed pruned.  Now it wept.

"I'm not sure what to do. I've never had one of these before," was my only defense when Cliff looked at me expectantly. We strategically pruned a few rogue branches from the bottom and then I began pruning the excessive middle branches.  Small clumps of leaves and branches, never exposed to the sun, were moldy and diseased.  I immediately lopped them off.  I then trimmed any branches that obstructed sunshine from reaching the innermost branches.  Freshly coiffed, the branches began to lift and take on the tidy shape of an umbrella.

I continued trimming and snipping away imbalance and disease, becoming uncomfortably aware of how this delicate tree's ugliness described my life. 




Life can be rangy, wild and unpredictable especially with three young boys.  But overall it's usually tidy and organized.  Or that's how it appears. Some of the lush obligations, to-do's, adventures, or responsibilities were actually causing imbalance.  I hadn't realized that my drive for productivity, appearing beautiful and full, was actually causing disease.

Perhaps I was trying to prove my value.  Perhaps I was trying to earn favor.  Perhaps I was drowning myself in busyness to hide the ugly branches of hurt and disappointment that I hadn't yet allowed God to heal.  The branches of pain, resentment, shame, and self-martyrdom.

In measuring the true health of my lifestyle, these small clusters of busyness were drawing too much of my attention and energy.  They may have looked good and served good purposes but how I prioritized them in my heart wasn't healthy.   

I was desperately clinging to a fading career, obsessively keeping our home clean, frantically running various errands for school projects, searching for ways to be involved at church, and constantly people pleasing, afraid of disappointing others by saying "no."  In and of themselves, these weren't bad things in fact, some of them were good and God used them to heal parts of my broken heart.  But they were distracting from the most important things.

As I continued pruning the tree, my spirit was encouraged and strengthened knowing health was imminent for the remaining branches.  Cutting off diseased branches would allow nutrients to redirect to the remaining branches.  Removing clumps of leaves would allow the sun's warmth and healing heat access to the innermost branches.  It was these very branches that provided the actual structure and beauty to the tree.

How sad that they were easily overlooked.

I thought of my young children.

My marriage.  

My neighbors.  

Our new friends.

Our old friends.  

All were shadowed branches.   They each shape me, hold me, and impact who I am.   Yet I had allowed busyness to drown out their prominence and priority in my heart.  They were lost in my clumpy productivity. It was time to say "no", learn to set boundaries, own and confess my obsessions to God, and seek to please Him, not others.

It was time to sharpen the pruners.

My boys' creativity at work!

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Resources you may enjoy:
*Thriving Family Magazine - FREE magazine offer!
*Andy Stanley - New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating (video sermon series)
*Cloud & Townsend - The Simple Scoop on Boundaries (article)
*10 Commandments of Marriage - HitchedMag.com (article)


Question: What branches do you need to prune out of your life?  We all have some so don't feel shame!