Gagging on the Truth
There are times when truth is a balm to my soul. It's soothing. Calming. Peaceful. Strong. Like an electric blanket warming my ice-cold toes. Or a shoulder massage after a long day. Or a white chocolate peppermint mocha. Smooth and sweet. Magic to my heart.
There are other times where the truth is an assault to my senses. It smells sharp and pungent and feels slimy on my tongue like overly-steamed spinach. It's disgusting. I try to chew and swallow it but throw up in my mouth. Just a little. My mind knows that it's good for me but my gag reflex says differently. These particular truths are ones that I don't want to apply to my life. Other people should certainly apply these truths, but I really don't like them. They're uncomfortable.
When confronted with the uncomfortable truths, I fight. I pout. I throw temper tantrums like a four-year-old at the dinner table who resists comforting, cajoling or bribery.
My underlying resistance is 99.9% of the time connected to pride. I want to believe that I know best. I want to trust my feelings instead of my knowledge. I desperately cling to my opinion, just a little bit longer. I don't want to actually admit that God is right.
I'm certainly willing to trust him and obey him in other areas of my life - parenting, respecting coworkers, in giving to the poor, and so on. But honestly, when life gets messy or I feel offended or hurt, it's easiest to just leave God out of it. That way I don't have to obey him.
The reality is that when I say "no" in just one or two areas of my life, I'm confessing my lack of faith I've stopped believing that God is good. I'm wanting to control my own heart and life. I want to harbor my opinions, bitterness, temptations, or broken conclusions. They are comfortable because they are my own. They are like a pair of old slippers that are ripped and scruffy. I hold onto them and wear them proudly because they have served me well, or so I've thought. I prefer the familiarity of ripped and scruffy instead of new, reliable, and good.
I'm choosing broken over perfect.
I'm trusting myself - a broken, flawed, sinful self over a God who is perfect, good, kind and loving. When I choose myself over God, I create separation between myself and God.
Instead I need to remind myself of the truths I already know about God's character, power, and love. He's faithful, forgiving, and gracious. He has plans for my life and uses all things, including the bad things, to shape me into who he made me to be.
One of my favorite resources with a boring and generic title: You Can Change, by Tim Chester
Question: What situations in your life challenge your faith in God? What do you do about it?
There are other times where the truth is an assault to my senses. It smells sharp and pungent and feels slimy on my tongue like overly-steamed spinach. It's disgusting. I try to chew and swallow it but throw up in my mouth. Just a little. My mind knows that it's good for me but my gag reflex says differently. These particular truths are ones that I don't want to apply to my life. Other people should certainly apply these truths, but I really don't like them. They're uncomfortable.
When confronted with the uncomfortable truths, I fight. I pout. I throw temper tantrums like a four-year-old at the dinner table who resists comforting, cajoling or bribery.
My underlying resistance is 99.9% of the time connected to pride. I want to believe that I know best. I want to trust my feelings instead of my knowledge. I desperately cling to my opinion, just a little bit longer. I don't want to actually admit that God is right.
I'm certainly willing to trust him and obey him in other areas of my life - parenting, respecting coworkers, in giving to the poor, and so on. But honestly, when life gets messy or I feel offended or hurt, it's easiest to just leave God out of it. That way I don't have to obey him.
The reality is that when I say "no" in just one or two areas of my life, I'm confessing my lack of faith I've stopped believing that God is good. I'm wanting to control my own heart and life. I want to harbor my opinions, bitterness, temptations, or broken conclusions. They are comfortable because they are my own. They are like a pair of old slippers that are ripped and scruffy. I hold onto them and wear them proudly because they have served me well, or so I've thought. I prefer the familiarity of ripped and scruffy instead of new, reliable, and good.
I'm choosing broken over perfect.
I'm choosing myself over God.
I'm trusting myself - a broken, flawed, sinful self over a God who is perfect, good, kind and loving. When I choose myself over God, I create separation between myself and God.
Instead I need to remind myself of the truths I already know about God's character, power, and love. He's faithful, forgiving, and gracious. He has plans for my life and uses all things, including the bad things, to shape me into who he made me to be.
James 1:6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone.
Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave
of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.
One of my favorite resources with a boring and generic title: You Can Change, by Tim Chester
Question: What situations in your life challenge your faith in God? What do you do about it?
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