Finding Identity

Driving home from dropping off the boys at school, I was trying to find music on the radio that would match the deeply beautiful weather outside- this was tricky.  I briefly landed on a pop music station and got an earful of:

".....Focus on me, f-f-focus on me

Focus on me, f-f-focus on me..."

Granted, the rest of the song is about not caring what other people think, blah, blah, blah... I totally get the fact that we are in bondage to other people's opinions.  We allow others feedback, judgments, or negativity to break our hearts and darken our days.  And then we feed the machine of judgement by placing ourselves all over social media to see how many 'likes' we get and all this does is convey our desperation to be liked (we can all see it), which brings more judgment on us.  


This all stems from a tremendous identity crisis.  Who are you anyway?  And who tells you who you are?  You?  Your FB peeps?  Your family of origin?  Who decides how lovable you are?  How gifted you are?  How valuable you are?

You know what I see when I'm focused on me?  Flaws.  And more flaws.  Insecurities.  Crabby mornings.  The right joke at the wrong time.  Messes.  Brooding.  Weariness.  Blood and bruises.  My world becomes very small.  I forget others.  I forget to love.  I forget to laugh.  I forget to forgive.  I forget to live - really live.

After a full five seconds of 'Focus on me...', my fingers punched at the radio scan buttons and no joke - the very next line coming through my speakers was: 

"Love like I'm not scared

Give when it's not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on You

On You..."

Now I'm not hating on  Ariana Grande.  I get that she wants people others for who they are as individuals (per her vlog).  I'm all for that.  I'm simply stating that the focus of the chorus is very narrow and misleading unless the listener listens to ALL the lyrics.

I guess what I'm saying is this; I want to be around people who are real about their challenges, honest with their hangups, and concerned about the well-being of others. It forces me to be real with myself and look at life through the eyes of someone else.  This either strengthens my convictions or causes me to reconsider why I believe what I believe.  The challenge is good and needed.  Character requires challenge. 

We all have to decide where we get our identity as our focus will determine our direction...

Question:  Where do you find your identity and why?